This post is going to be everywhere so I apologize in advance...
Today was a day I'd like to forget or pretend it never happened. Someone I've known for a long time died last night. When I say a long time, I mean since I was kid. He was riding his bike home from a ride, lost control, and hit the guardrail, and died from head trauma. We weren't necessarily close, but I've always considered him a friend. He was always good to sit around and have a few beers with...conversation wasn't needed because he was such a strong person that words didn't need to be said. Mostly, my heart aches for his family in ways I can't explain because I'm VERY close to so many of them. Now here comes the confusing part...
I want to go to the funeral to pay my last respects, but I fear I'm going to be unwelcome there because of her...after all, it was HER uncle and not mine. I know if I go to Columbus that I'll have nowhere to stay for the night and I'll only want to be with her...but I'm about 99% sure she won't want me to be there with her. I know some of her family will want me to go and tell me I can stay at his brother's house (which is a few blocks from her house) and I fear that will only make things worse for me. I've been on the verge of tears all day and I just now started crying about it.
My biggest question I have to answer in the next few days is, should I go and just come home the same night or just not go at all? I want to talk to her about it, but today certainly isn't the right time since she just lost someone that she was close to. I just got over so much from the last few months to be put back in the same place of questioning everything like I did before.
